I was sexually abused by some of my brothers and their friends
I am no expert on forgiveness, but as someone who agrees with the concept and struggles with the practise, I have noticed one thing. Forgiveness doesn’t seem to be a ‘one time fix’ and by that I mean (to quote Shrek!) it is like an onion. It consists of layers of forgiveness that can be undertaken, but on the resurfacing of anger or bitterness, there can be a need to forgive all over again, and again, and so on. My hope is that as the layers continue to be removed, the process becomes easier!
Unforgiveness can be very demaging to the health. Unforgiveness leads to bitterness which causes many health problems. It is not possible for human beings to truly and fully forgive and love an enemy becos our human’s love is conditional. Only God’s forgiveness and love is unconditional. A person who has received God’s forgiveness and love through Jesus Christ can use God’s forgiveness and love to competely forgive and love the enemy. Yet to successfully do so, the person has to submit to God, humble himself, remove the pride from his heart (deny himself), and says from his heart everyday (onion peeling with tears), “I forgive ______ .” He will pass the test when he is able to pray for his “enemy” positively and bless him, and able to get along with him. God bless, God is love! Sunday, trudy said.
I was raised in an abusive home. My parents were angry people and took it out on their children often. But the greatest harm wasn’t the physical abuse, but the lack of nurturing, the neglect of caring for their children and giving them a sense of worth. My opinion towards males in general is not very good although I do love them. I think of them as being base, lowly like animals, concerning sexual things. When I married my husband I trusted him and thought I’d found a man who was different from the others. He’s proven me a fool and hurt me very badly. I’m still trying to recover. Having been a child of neglect and always feeling worthless until I found some happiness with a man whom I believed made me worthwhile, then losing that feeling and being dumped back into feeling I deserved nothing good because I’m not a good person, has made a mess of me emotionally. If I didn’t have children to care for I’d have checked out of this life. But I’m better now, somewhat. I don’t believe I will ever trust and love anyone (aside from my children and grandchildren) and that makes me sad and lonely, but I don’t know how to fix me. Anyone out there have any answers for me? Trudy Colorado Monday, Sandy said.
I feel I’ve forgiven him but cannot get myself to trust him and can’t allow myself to truly love him again for fear he will hurt me again
I agree with all that’s been said regarding forgiveness. It’s not a one time thing and voila you move past everything. My own experiences have taught me I have to repeat the forgiveness as often as anger surfaces. The repetition makes forgiveness a habit and one that is highly desirable. In forgiving others it’s never failed that ulitmately I forgive meyself. It is also in forgiveness that the past is left exactly where it should be in the past and life in the present moment becomes possible. Monday, Anonymous said.